ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Blood, blood, blood, blood. There's something about it that kick starts my heart, knowing there is that sticky red mess makes my adrenalin flow.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
I HATE HIM. HE INTERRUPTS AND THEN ABUSES ME. I WON'T UNDERSTAND AND I GET ABUSED. I WILL ANSWER HIS QUESTION BUT SINCE HE'S NOT PAYING ATTENTION I GET ABUSED!!!!! HE IS CHILDISH AND DOES NOT CARE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY BECAUSE HIS WORD IS BLOODY GOSPEL! I'M RED HOT WITH RAGE AND JUST BROKE MY FUCKING DOOR. I HATE HIM, THERE IS NOTHING MORE CERTAIN THAN THIS.
:D
Now i'm one of those boys/men (however you choose to view me) That doesn't hold themselves in high regard, personally I don't think I look "good." I will do pretty much anything and not care what people think, yet i'm incredibly self-conscious, how's that for contradiction? To my point! I recently gained a precious addition to my life, and I will do anything to make her happy. I will also do my best to make sure she knows how wonderful she really is. This journal entry serves as a vow to do just that.
:(
So now i'm 16, and only really this past year or so the reality of having divorced parents has hit me. Now that I have my social life I can't just have freedom because my parents see me all the time. No, I have to try and balance my time between my mother and father who have been divorced since I was a 3 year old I think and my social life. It has taken thirteen years for this to set in, when I finally have a life to live, I have to cater to my family and never get time for myself. When I do get time for myself I get seen as selfish, it's not my fault they can hardly see me, i'm just growing up.
Eh
So, my mood has dropped, I have no clue why, I feel hot with some sort of hatred and I can't put my finger on what it is. I know I should be happy but there is always something lurking in my brain that messes it up.
More importantly I will never ask for help, so I guess i'm stuck with this mood because I hate it when people focus on me instead of helping themselves.
I really don't get why I feel angry though (yes a repeat statement but it helps to emphasize the point) But what is it that is in my brain doing all of this? I really want to know so I can put a stop to it.
© 2012 - 2024 Scott-Russell
Comments0
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In